What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.
It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.
But there’s nothing like a not-yet-ex finding someone new to make the person who wanted the divorce in the first place have second thoughts about splitting up. As a result, your fun, new relationship with Ben will get bumped and bruised in the process of Ben’s divorce.
And when that happens, it’s anything but smooth, simple, and unemotional. That’s wear and tear on your relationship that would never have happened if Ben had wrapped up his divorce before you two started dating.
He is currently separated from his wife and has been for almost two years. I went out on three dates with him before he told me that he’d told his wife about us.
Within a week of this he informed me that she was texting him constantly and putting him under a lot of pressure and he was feeling guilty.
Even if that doesn’t happen, a divorce, no matter how civil, is nobody’s idea of a good time. So, yes, in a perfect world, people would conclude their previous relationships, paperwork and all, before entering into new ones.
And you might think that means his divorce will be smooth, simple, and unemotional. You will have opinions about how things are or are not getting resolved at times – and that’s also understandable.Same goes for someone who’s not over their divorce and has beliefs that affect their ability to be committed.I personally know people who have gotten together while one party was separated, and in one case the wife refused to sign so they had to wait for it to lapse and got married as soon as it did a few years later, and in the other instances where it worked out, there was no faffing about with the divorce, Future Faking etc. We both have two kids in middle school: a girl and a boy. So, for all intents and purposes, it's like they're divorced, they just haven't done the paperwork. She says dating him is wrong because he’s still a married man. Dear In Love, I realize this happens all the time, but I think misrepresenting one’s marital status on a dating site raises legitimate questions about a person’s veracity. The bigger issue here is not that Ben said he was divorced on OKCupid, it’s that he is in fact still married. Ever since she left him, he's paid for his household expenses, she's paid for hers, and they coparent their kids without any drama.